Lending money to friends who hardly pay back
A friend recently complained about a
colleague who cried that his wife was going into labour and needed a
loan of N100, 000 with a promise to repay by month end. One year down
the line and the stories keep changing. In fact, the matter has
threatened to ruin their relationship with my friend considering taking
the matter to the Human Resource Department.
How often do you find yourself in a
position where you lend money to a friend or family member and never get
it back? They approach you with cries of desperation and promise to pay
back after a specified period only to come up with stories when its
time to repay. I get approached too and often fall victim. I have learnt
from been a victim and often use this tips to avoid falling again.
Number one rule is to remember it is easier to borrow and lend than to return after lending
If you have this at the back of your
mind all the time then your default response will always be a NO. But
there are cases that require compassion too. When they arise your
adamant nature will warrant that you reverse the notion by making it
difficult to lend and easier to refund after lending.
Create a barrier by introducing third parties to the transaction
People who borrow money or seek your
money for investment always come with compelling and convincing tales.
They are also very much in a hurry to get the money from you giving you
the impression that all hell is about to let loose if you don’t act
quickly. The problem however is that, when it comes to getting your
money back, that urgency is suddenly transforms to pestering. So for
those who are vulnerable to sweet talks, one way of deflecting a suitor
is to refer him or her to a third party. Tell your borrower you
understand the situation and want to genuinely help but your lawyer or
accountant has to work out the details. That way someone else who is
neutral and less biased is suddenly the decision maker in all of this.
Whilst in real terms the final decision lies with you, a third party may
help you see other risk that you may have missed and also put the
borrower under pressure to convince another person.
Ask for a guarantee or security
Just as above, to make it difficult for
the suitor/borrower, give them conditions that must be fulfilled before
you part with your money. For example, ask for collateral or a guarantee
from a recognised cleric. You will be shocked that even a common
request for an application letter can often be difficult for borrower to
produce which in no small measure sends them away naturally. A
borrower who doesn’t show seriousness to meet this conditions will more
often that not break their promise to refund.
Confirm as reasonably as you can proof of need for the money
This can be difficult and not applicable
in some cases but if applied it can help avoid any incidence of fraud
or default. For example, if they come to you for money to finance a
Local Purchase Order, simply ask for a copy of the LPO. If they do not
have it, then don’t give and if they do, ensure that it is the borrowers
name that is on it and not a third party.
Obtain quasi-security documents like post dated cheques
Most loans to friends and family hardly
get covered by collateral. However, you can still request for other
documents such as post dated cheques, promissory notes etc. Whilst
subordinate to registered collateral such as land, they can be quite
useful in terms of settlement. A bounced cheque for example is an
offence punishable by law. A serial borrower who issues a dud cheque is
therefore at risk of going to jail which serves as a good deterrent.
Keep in touch regularly and pester where necessary
Most of us make the mistake of not
keeping in touch with our debtors. Because they are friends we hesitate
to bring up the issue even when we are constantly in touch. Finance
experts advise that we continue to pester and remind our debtors that
they owe us. This creates a lingering sense of responsibility, which can
only help you recover your money.
Never lend to a previous defaulter
Once beaten twice shy. Ironically
borrowers are often shameless and will not think twice about coming back
to you again for another loan. If the borrower is someone who never
repays or takes time to, then you may do yourself a lot of good by not
lending to them again no matter the circumstance.
If you are soft hearted then only lend what you can afford to let go
Some of us are very vulnerable to bad
debts because we are just too compassionate to say no. However, being
compassionate does not mean we loose all sense of responsibility. If you
are compassionate then just lend what you can afford to let go.
Culled from Punch
Author: Ugodre Obi-Chukwu
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